The sudden arrival...intensity and unexpectancy of the volume of how he overtook my whole being...without question....hesitation...or...interruption...
Intensity high on the hospital scale it was a 9 and I felt flattened by the ragging pain within my chest,jaw and the entirety of my body.
The overwhelming feeling of coarse came from the chest ,rib and jaw pain...its allways the most severe...and overcomes not only my physical being but my emotional too.
So poor hubby was so concerned and was wanting to ring an ambulance but I was being really strong....well...I was trying to...
After last year when I had up to three trips to hospital a month... And last November I spent ten days in there...All for my Fibromyalgia... So my promise to myself was to avoid it at all costs since weaning off the oxcycontin they had previously given me...and the hellish place it had previously sent me too...
So...trying to be strong...brave...and again hold it together again....night has fallen ..and so has my fibro friend...into my chest and jaw again tonight...for consecutive nights now....
My strength has wained...and im feeling like its getting harder to fight the fight....Im lying in the cool out of the heat...and I've been relaxing...I've used my relaxation CD to fight my unwanted visitor but today he's stronger...so trying a bit of pet therapy...playing my my eight week old kitten "Bella"as a distraction...
Medication has not made any change in level of pain tonight...my new medication Topamax has not yet made any change in the pain levels either...I am seeing pain specialist in March so am going to increase dosage in hope of any change....
This heat is really challenging my strength...
I have pushed myself...made an effort with my presentation inhope that it would somehow make me feel a little better...brighter...and keep reminding myself...I am NOT standing on the sidelines this year... And that I am going to participate in life this year....
But....this ghastly heat is making it very challenging...
This illness brings its challenges...and along the way you certainly find out who true friends are.The ones that truly care....the ones that actually visit...and understand....that don't have high expectations of you....ones that remember that they are your friends in both good and bad times...
The people that like you when your having better days and be be more sociable..
The people that turn a blind eye when they can see your struggling to pour (due to weight)the milk....into the coffees your making for others...
Or your walking with others and you can't quite keep
Anyway....my Fibro fingers are very painful and can no longer write...so....
No comments:
Post a Comment