Warm Milk And Honey....

So..... It's 3.50AM on a friday morning.
My relentless visitor....Fibro.... has been and the pain has woken me several times throughout the night.
My mind has also woken me with fragmented images and and thoughts to strong to keep me lying in the coziness of my warm bed.

Note book in hand and warm milk and honey in the other here I am.....

I was asked the other day..what was I most worried about,my response immediately went in the direction of what or how my body would react to the foreign drugs that will be soon saturating my system.

But....As I am wide awake I now know that I am reflecting on how my family will be in my absence,and how I will miss the chaos that each day brings with a busy beautiful family.


I am in particular considering my teenage son who has Ashpergers...
I was being selfish when considering , he has plans to attend a sleep over just prior to my procedure and I really wanted to spend time with all family members before heading to hospital for two weeks.
I was feeling put out that he didn't hesitate to accept his friends invitation.I'm now reminding myself. Not to think of my own needs at the moment....It's actually positive for him to remain in his existing pattern for the time, doing what he would like to do.So for now I will not dwell on not seeing him before hospital but  am just mindful of how important routine is for him.


Morning routine.....I'm brushing my teeth, about to head out the door, when the regular banter between us goes something like this......
So today I have Maths , Maths and more Maths , Biology , PE , and RE.
He continues with an overview of each subject, the class room and which teacher presents him with issues or concerns,and ends it abruptly with,I'll see you tonight,have a good day,love you.
And in his mind the day then truly begins.

I wonder how the absence of the smaller routines such as this will effect him......my mind grows tired with thoughts around this up coming change of dynamics within our daily family routines .

Am warm and snuggled on the couch,gorgeous Milly (my cat) somehow managed to curl in under my arm and purring very loudly....maybe she also knows theres changes afoot in the household......
Am finally growing a bit sleeper and am hopeful that this has removed some of the chaos from my active mind at this time of the morning....pain is now shifting....will make the most of this Window of opportunity and hop back into bed for some more rest now.....

Gentle hugs for all.

F is for Fibromyalgia........