So mentioned a few days back I had been recovering from yet another visit from that pesky unwanted guest within my body.
Since.....I have had a couple of mornings at work.....seen smiles and heard welcoming words...enjoyed being back in the human race,if only for short but brief moments of time.
I have recently heard from friends and neighbour's....About New babies born into our world....and new pregnancies to bring joy....Wakeful nights......and morning sickness.....radiating smiles and the pure joy that spreads across a face while sharing such news.....more Wakeful nights with teething babies and seen the beauty......and touched by the spell a sleeping baby casts over ones self and others around.
My mother who passed away some twenty seven years ago now.....It couldn't have ever been imagined as she held her daughter........me...... in her arms for the first time....or watched me grow and learn to walk.....talk....choose my own clothes to wear.....
Make my first sandwich.....learn to skip with a rope....enjoyed watching the goldfish in the outdoor pond....play in the sand....climb trees....meet new friends..both male and female...overcome shyness...finally start bringing friends home.....and all that comes with some of teenage years....unfortunatly her life was cut too short.....and she was only able see the first 16 years of her.....my....teenage years.
I can't ever image she would think I in this day, at this age.....be so overwhelmed by a chronic medical condition...that has effected every facet of my life....everything I do each and every day....it cannot be escaped....it is silent and invisible.....unpredictable and is very strong willed.It commands an overwhelming presence not only by me but others in its presence....It is fortunately not terminal but is chronic and does not appear to go into remission very often.
I can only hope if nothing else....I raise some awarness of Fibromyalgia.....as I begin the journey to start a local support group that the word spreads....and at some levels people are acknowledging this invisible disease at the medical levels needed to assist with further research......education for some GPs and other professionals.....
Anyway.....that will be the persaverance and Persistence I will need for the future.....I'm wishing no new mothers.....or future mother
to be will EVER have to watch their loved ones suffer with such a condition that partly enters the unknown.....
I will hope that there will be Further down The track more acknowledgement... Support....treatment....or even a cure awaiting some where in the future.....
So.....as you can see by today's readings today is also an emotive day....I endured a terrible onest of Fibro pain within my chest last night.....my visitor arrived so unexpectantly with what you could call....a grand entrance...... I had taken my normal meds but after a couple of hres I had to take the dredded one....
.the one I have never yet taken at home.....they give it to me at hospital...
So to avoid whT would have been another trip to the ED this week I very humbly took it,went to bed and read until the words became blurry within my book...
I was greatful when morning arrived and my visitor had left me....my home and our street behind....
I have todY treated with absolutely caution..decided I would make some home made wholemeal gluten free pizzas.....my daughters friends are coming this evening and maybe......just for once she can have. Normal night....with friends....getting ready for a fun night out.......they are going to order Pizza in so we will have a nice night catching up with them......
How far from that it seems sometimes....
By the time I was nearly finished putting on my pizza toppings....I again could feel that sneaky unwanted visitor....
Yes.....sneaking into the top of my spine and working his way down...with a heavy pressure ache.... Did not have the stamina to stand anymore......I have gone off to a warm bed......I have been a bit sneaky....
Like the visitor of mine.....and hidden myself away.....what they can't see...
They won't know...I don't want any fuss...
Just a lovely evening for my daughter.....once they have left the house I can show my true pain and go from there....for now.....Shhhh.....will see how this strategy goes....
AM keeping fingers and toes crossed.....
Here's to all beautiful children ...who all deserve nothing but love and everything....Warm....gentle....inspiring...encouraging .....good health and all else special in their lives.......for as long as they live.....and grow into grown ups....
Even then you still wish for all the best life can bring to them...
Here's to Persistence and Persaverance.....
Bringing myself flowers tonight to brighten my space....
F is for Fibromyalgia....and the lessons in life it has taught me......
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