New goal posts.....

From my previous post you will have gathered I have been feeling somewhat disheartened....

This dreaded Fibro has dragged me back and I feel somewhat down as well.
I have been having other....or shall I say different symptoms....
My joint now is different, and is a sharp and intense pain radiating from my left shoulder down my arm...I have lost some morenstrength within this arm.....not sure what's going on there.....

I've been managing to attend hydro Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays and have been working so hard to build up my muscle strength.

I've noticed numbness creeping in from time to time....either in my hands or in my feet....it leaves me unable to take a step....has has caused me to fall and sit down just  to cry....In a shop one day..... It was sudden and I couldn't feel my feet properly and they had an overwhelming pain in them.....it's been terrible....and a little frightening....

So these are some of my reasoning for feeling again like a burden to my family and feeling a sense of loss of control again....

So on sunday hubby and I spoke about this whole Fibro issue and the changes its brought to our lives....and the possible future it may spring upon us....
I'm going off to have further testing.....due to some of the sudden and unexpected changes....
It may be that my fibro is progressing or that I may also have another condition that has been overlooked.....at this stage we are uncertain.....

What decided at this moment to set our selves some new goal posts to work toward....

One was to allow ourselves....as husband and wife to have some time together....or time out.....I just call it our coffee dates....which was where he took me on one of my particular bad days....

I'm sure I looked like a hogan....untidy...unkept....and basically undone!!.....I must have looked like hell..and I really did not want to move out of my own miserable space that I was so sadly consuming.

Anyway....it's amazing how a change of environment....good caring company....and a traditional Chai will do for a sad girls spirit.....

I encourage anyone feeling consumed with themselves to try it.....

The other goal.....Positiveness.....well I'm usually this wy but of late I must admit I have been lost in the wilderness..

                  So I'm back........a little at a time anyway.....step by step....


And have decided that with each positive day I take my self off to hydro successfully without a tear....that I'm going to reward myself....sounds like a rewards chart or something.....
But not a visual one....So today after hydro I went to the cafe in the hospital and got one of their yummy Chai lattes.....
Yum.....Sat out in the fresh air to drink it and thought about positive things.....


So although we realize our road ahead is going to be somewhat rocky....I have just been told that when I am sad....that it makes my hubby feel depressed.....I allways knew it would be difficult for him....but to hear his words and see the sadness in his eyes as he spoke....

Lots of food for thought for me...

So going to think about pretty things.....Things I like to do like...look in the antique and second hand stores...
For  those  special pe loved  treasures...


Enjoy the gorgeous flowers in the local gardens and private homes...

This is going to be my beginning again.....positive thoughts....actions....
And a ray of hope....

Will see how this week progresses....

F is for Flattened......and now....F is for Fighting.....once again......