They are the tiniest tablets and I am beggining on a small dosage of 25mg morning and night.
It was nice....yes nice.... A word....or a feeling that hasn't been a part of me for some time.....
Anyway....nice that I didn't even know it was in my body!!!! Good things to come I hope...
.
My Fibro visitor on the otherhand....is hanging around....im sure waiting to see if it will scare him off...
He later begins to laugh loudly at it...and I resort to again lying down to have pain relief rubbed into my weary body....
It isn't a miracle cure or anything but it take the edge off the pain for a brief time and provides an hour or so of a little relief....I can imagine fibro in there during the massage moving around avoiding the strong hands in hope not to be pushed out of my body....he is sly and manages to manooever without being totally outed from his favorite. Place to dwell...my body....
I take the day very slow in the cool...
Fibro is very persistent rising and falling dependant on my will and motivation of the time....
I managed to change my sheets...doona cover....so very exited and have been wanting to do this for what seems ages... My bed is a king size and it's a huge effort for my arms and shoulders and allways bring my unwanted visitor....
He arrives as usual....but I was happy I had a nice fresh bed....after all the disgusting...
Sweating and being sick this past week...I felt an extra urge to remove the putrid listless...lifeless...events that occurred within....
I even did more.... I shouldn't of.... But....I was on a role...
My bedroom felt like a place of imminent death....although I know it wasn't....but the dark cloud had moved in....and was left hovering....so horrid...
Time for it to go.... I wanted to see some blue clouds...
Out went the pile of dirty clothes I am disgusted to say didn't leave my floor...
Where they landed...
(so not me)
I also really sorted my hanging clothes.... I had just randomly been putting things on hangers...(again
.so not me)who generally likes an order to my cupboard...
Ok...
So ....now clothes are re ordered...
How I like it...
Clean and fresh....nothing dumped...or messy....but most of all the stench of illhealth has moved out...
Yeah.....
I'm feeling good I have achieved but fibro is determined to bring me down....he loves when I do this stuff and push my body....he's now spreading through my whole body....moving with such angst....
Bed time has arrived I remember to take my second dose of Topamax and club into bed to rest my Terribly a by body... My unwanted visitor is now sitting in my ribs....this is one of his best tricks.... And. It allways brings a few tears.... Feels as though someone has been smashing my ribs with a baseball bat....
The night is strange and brings weird anxious sensations and feelings....
Have decided by morning I will not take the Topamax upon going to bed...
Will try it at teatime....and hope this will result in a more rested sleep..
I feel as though I haven't slept in a century.....and am wishing for some rest....peace....and tranquility....
I'm Heading awY this coming week....time away from my inner deamons...environment....and the greyness that I bring to my home environment at present...
If I could leave my own body...
I would... Like a cicator...snake....or yabby....leaving the old shell behind
I spoke with my family who were so happy.... This only endorsed my idea of escape...
Of my familiar four walls....
This is the next best thing...if I am not to shed my skin...
I will be surrounded again by love...support...and tranquility...
And will aim at finding some inner peace....revitalization....and hope of finding my new blue skies...
F is for....
Fighting...
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