And there was a definite change within me....
It was most alive I had felt for ages without being consumed by a total feeling of illness...
I managed to actually start early in the afternoon and begin to make tea for my family... To feel as though there was some self worth....made me feel brighter in its self...
It didn't take long before a huge reminder landed within my body.... A grand arrival of my old friend "Fibromyalgia" I knew the past weeks he lay some what quieter in the background....
Now he was back...this unwanted visitor of mine....
Moving swiftly through out my body....it made it difficult to stand....and function...Making this evening meal...
I was determined to complete my task...
Today was my grandaughters first birthday.....and they were coming for birthday tea.
I was going to push through to achieve this goal....on this special day....
It was ridiculous...
So overpowering....I was fortunate my son massaged my body with pain relief and it enabled to carry on for a bit longer in the kitchen....
Breaking regular to get yet....
another massage....this ferocious visitor was a step ahead....and continued to move and have a presence in a different part of my body....moving from one area swiftly to the next....Until consuming me....
It was very evident all medications were out of my system.....and My relentless Fibro visitor took full advantage of this...
Our birthday celebration was not as I had wished....and was long...painful....and I just wanted the day to be over.....
I barely had the strength to farewell our birthday girl...
Once the car left the driveway....I slowly dragged my worn torn body straight into my bed.
My daughter massaged my body in an effort to reduce my suffering....I turned my electric blanket on ( although today was a 30 degree day).... And hoped the pain would subside....and my fibro visitor would leave my body....bedroom....and this neighborhood....
This night was a surprise....although my fibromyalgia worked his way into all my body parts....I was not awoken by the buzzing....and irritability of my leg thing that had consumed me for days...
This was surely a sign of better things to come.... And a sign...I guess.... The medications had left my body....Finally....
I am greatful for the genuine words of some kind people....this passing week....and how this has assisted in fighting my battle...
It is now day 10....
My unwanted visitor has stayed the night in my body...
I feel his presence as soon as my mind and body awake...
He has saturated me from the base of my neck to the very tip of my toes....feet hurting like I have ran a 50 km race.... Every joint within my hands are hurting.....and I only imagine....what old age may feel like....
My mind is less heavy....for this I am greatful...but my body not so...
Today I have decided I will begin my new Fibromyalgia medication....
Topamax...
In hope that this anti seizure drug reduces the amount of firing of my neurotransmitters....
So I imagine this....
Huge amount of gorgeous fireworks in the sky....
Only...mine arnt gorgeous....and I'm hoping the Topamax will reduce the amount of these fireworks that are sent out...
If this has the ability to reduce the amount then...in theory it should reduce the amount of pain signals being sent in correctly to all parts of my body.
So.... Todays the big day... Have just willed myself to have a little breakfast of ...mighty might and avocado on toast....and have had the first of my Topamax tablets....another due tonight.
AM hoping this will begin to improve my quality of life....
I noticed yesterday... Although the temperature was warm and around 30... The barametic pressure rose somewhat.. It went quiet high up to 1010 and just over...which is higher than normal...
I have began to notice it the pressure sits between 1008 -1010 then I am able to cope with pain levels...but when pressure drops or rises above these numbers I find the pain increases significantly....
Anyway....Lets see what today brings....
F is for.....Finally...
Being able to feel a bit better....and begin my new and hopefully medication.....
F is for....Future....and its possibilities
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